Now

I've been busy today and have therefore put off blogging until I "had time" - which everyone knows is code for "I'm a lazy so-and-so and don't wanna" because nobody ever just has time sitting around waiting to be used up by something interesting. Kiddo #1 is finishing up therapy and I'm starving (seriously I think my stomach is trying to eat itself, even though I'm obviously not actually starving, I'm being a whiny hangry person)... anyway, I don't have the time (or the well-fed focus) to write a post but if I don't just DO IT it'll never get done. So I'm writing now.

One of my favorite sayings, which I should really follow more often.

Meditation today happened, and I realized that I was pretty judgy about it. (Blogger is convinced that "judgy" isn't a word, but we all know what I mean, so I'm leaving it.) I realized today that I have this expectation of what meditation looks like, what it "should be" if you're doing it "right." Which is nonsense of course, meditating isn't something that you can get right or wrong, it just IS. What my meditation looked like today was my head coming up with all kinds of stories and dream-like scenarios; almost like daydreaming. I just let it be, but the whole time I was thinking that for some reason it wasn't good enough and when I was done I felt disappointed that it hadn't been the kind of experience I wanted.

And that right there was the moment I had my 'a-ha' moment of knowing that my hour had been truly well spent. It taught me that It's All Good. There's no pass or fail. There's just this moment, containing whatever it contains. It taught me to stop judging everything. That's a lesson I get shown over and over and over and over... I may fully grasp it one of these days!

Acceptance of What Is is the biggest lesson of the day for me. I can't get it wrong. There's no scoreboard for my life. Only this moment and living in that space, loving it and being there. Pretty simple stuff. <3